 "Photo: Photo courtesy of Epitaph Records")
It was a bad sign, when arriving at Amos’ in Southend for the much-anticipated Every Time I Die show as part of the “Epitaph Tour”, that the only people who were visibly over the age of sixteen were the parents chaperoning their children. The line to get into the venue stretched for a couple of blocks by the time they opened the doors, almost an hour later than was advertised.
Even though the idea of opening the doors late has become a common tactic employed by show organizers to create a long line, and thereby creating the impression that the event is bigger than it really is. While waiting in line, the anticipation could be heard in the dialogue between the young fans.
“Yeah, they’re so loud” and “Dude this is going to rock so hard,” was all I heard. It was like standing in line at the cafeteria in the kiddie version of hell.
Each pair of jeans was tighter than the last. Each sad flap hairdo was longer, and sadder, than the previous.
As for the music, it was, in a word, terrible. Frankly, it doesn’t even deserve the amount of ink that is going to be spent on it in this review. Their music, along with that of fellow imitators Bring Me the Horizon, Architects, and Oh, Sleeper, is artless teen angst at its worst.
No single song could stand out from another, or any band from another, in this sad accumulation of boring guitar riffs.
On the rare occasion that they managed to create a sound that was moderately interesting, it was held for too little time to even count.
The worst part of the music was exacerbated by how much the musicians seemed to believe in it. In between songs, lead singers would urge the crowd to, “go the f--- off!”
As a rule of thumb, if you can’t get the crowd to “go the f--- off” with your music, you really have no right to demand it.
On the whole, the event was so laughable that, without a sense of humor, or no taste in music, it would have been nearly impossible to sit through. If your idea of good metal is one of thought-provoking music, that sounds like it was difficult to write and play, then Every Time I Die, or any of these bands, are not for you.
If, on the other hand, your idea of good metal involves prancing around in your little sister’s blue jeans, while listening to guitar riffs that sound like they were written by your little sister, then this stuff is made for you.
3 comments
"Epitaph Tour fails to please metal fans".. how broad is that?